Post by Vance Skye on Jun 18, 2009 15:18:07 GMT -5
Vance Skye
Age: 21
Family: Deceased due to chainsaw wielding ninjas from space
Nicknames: Vance Skye, Action Guy
Appearance:
He is cloaked in an epic red cape of AWESOME that flutters in the wind, even indoors. It has the magical ability to make everything he does instantly more AWESOME - Oh wait, that's not magic, that's just AWESOME.
His shirt is- who needs a shirt when you've got chest made out of 100% pure MANLINESS. You show that off and the ladies are all upons. However, pants are still necessary, as the world isn't ready for the full extant of his MANLINESS.
His upper body is covered with MANLY tattoos that he gave himself. This includes the ones on his back, which he gave himself by plunging his EPIC MANLY sword through his chest to carve the shapes on his back. He got the tattoos because they were supposed to be painful, and he had never felt pain before. Unfortunately, his efforts were wasted, as the pain was still unable to pierce his sheer MANLINESS.
He also possesses an EPIC MANLY sword of AWESOMENESS.
Be careful if you get him excited, or he might just whip it out. The skill with which he wields it is undeniable, especially if you leave yourself vulnerable, as his experience with it is quite sizable. Should you leave yourself completely exposed, he'll ram it straight into the opening, with enough power to cause anybody to cry out. He'll then proceed to twist it as he pulls out, allowing your body fluids to spurt out of the orifice as you pass out from the sensation.
Once one has experienced his technique, the tools that others possess appear vastly inferior. Indeed, many a man has failed, attempting to master his skill at using his tool to stimulate the opponents body and promote the flow of fluids.
Personality:
NEVER DO ANYTHING THE MUNDANE WAY IF THERE IS A POTENTIALLY MORE AWESOME WAY TO DO IT.
YELL EVERYTHING.
KICK DOWN DOORS.
DON'T EVEN USE DOORS, JUMP THROUGH WINDOWS.
KICK DOWN THE DOORS ANYWAY.
EVERY WEAPON WILL RETURN LIKE A BOOMERANG IF THROWN RIGHT.
EVERYTHING IS A WEAPON.
CATCH KNIVES WITH YOUR TEETH.
CATCH BULLETS WITH YOUR TEETH.
CATCH MISSILES WITH YOUR TEETH.
IF IT WOULD BE MORE AWESOME, DON'T CATCH IT.
JEDI THAT SHIT AND HIT YOUR VICTIM WITH HIS OWN WEAPON.
OR JUST TAKE IT AND BE ALL "OH, WAS THAT IT?"
AND THEN PRY IT OUT OF YOUR FLESH WITH YOUR BARE HANDS AND THROW IT BACK AT THEM.
DO EVERYTHING THE AWESOME WAY.
GET DRESSED.
COOK FOOD.
TAKE A WALK IN THE PARK.
BUT DO IT AWESOMELY.
MARTIAL ARTS CAN BE USED FOR EVERYTHING.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS EXCESSIVE FORCE IF IT WORKS.
IF EXCESSIVE FORCE BREAKS IT THAN IT WAS TOO WEAK.
NEVER MERELY SHEATHE A WEAPON IF YOU CAN SPIN IT, THROW IT IN THE AIR, CATCH IT, AND THAN SHEATHE IT.
EXPLOSIONS, THINGS BURSTING INTO FLAMES, DEATH BY AWESOME.
TAUNT YOUR OPPONENTS, YOU'RE GOING TO WIN, IT MIGHT AS WELL BE INTERESTING.
SHOW OFF, ESPECIALLY WHILE DEFEATING YOUR VICTIM.
NO ENEMY IS SO HEAVY HE CAN'T BE THROWN, SO FAST HE CAN'T BE HIT, SO INVINCIBLE HE CAN'T BE DESTROYED.
ANY STATEMENT IS A CHALLENGE IF YOU FEEL LIKE DISINTEGRATING SOME FACE.
IF YOU DON'T RADIATE AN AURA OF AWESOME, THEN YOU'RE NOT AWESOME ENOUGH.
History:
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
And God said, Let there be light and there was light.
And God saw the light, that it was good and God divided the light from the darkness.
And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.
And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament and it was so.
And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear and it was so.
And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas and God saw that it was good.
And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth and it was so.
And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind and God saw that it was good.
And the evening and the morning were the third day.
And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth and it was so.
And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night he made the stars also.
And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness and God saw that it was good.
And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind and God saw that it was good.
And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind and it was so.
And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind and God saw that it was good.
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
And so God created Vance Skye.
Age: 21
Family: Deceased due to chainsaw wielding ninjas from space
Nicknames: Vance Skye, Action Guy
Appearance:
He is cloaked in an epic red cape of AWESOME that flutters in the wind, even indoors. It has the magical ability to make everything he does instantly more AWESOME - Oh wait, that's not magic, that's just AWESOME.
His shirt is- who needs a shirt when you've got chest made out of 100% pure MANLINESS. You show that off and the ladies are all upons. However, pants are still necessary, as the world isn't ready for the full extant of his MANLINESS.
His upper body is covered with MANLY tattoos that he gave himself. This includes the ones on his back, which he gave himself by plunging his EPIC MANLY sword through his chest to carve the shapes on his back. He got the tattoos because they were supposed to be painful, and he had never felt pain before. Unfortunately, his efforts were wasted, as the pain was still unable to pierce his sheer MANLINESS.
He also possesses an EPIC MANLY sword of AWESOMENESS.
Be careful if you get him excited, or he might just whip it out. The skill with which he wields it is undeniable, especially if you leave yourself vulnerable, as his experience with it is quite sizable. Should you leave yourself completely exposed, he'll ram it straight into the opening, with enough power to cause anybody to cry out. He'll then proceed to twist it as he pulls out, allowing your body fluids to spurt out of the orifice as you pass out from the sensation.
Once one has experienced his technique, the tools that others possess appear vastly inferior. Indeed, many a man has failed, attempting to master his skill at using his tool to stimulate the opponents body and promote the flow of fluids.
Personality:
NEVER DO ANYTHING THE MUNDANE WAY IF THERE IS A POTENTIALLY MORE AWESOME WAY TO DO IT.
YELL EVERYTHING.
KICK DOWN DOORS.
DON'T EVEN USE DOORS, JUMP THROUGH WINDOWS.
KICK DOWN THE DOORS ANYWAY.
EVERY WEAPON WILL RETURN LIKE A BOOMERANG IF THROWN RIGHT.
EVERYTHING IS A WEAPON.
CATCH KNIVES WITH YOUR TEETH.
CATCH BULLETS WITH YOUR TEETH.
CATCH MISSILES WITH YOUR TEETH.
IF IT WOULD BE MORE AWESOME, DON'T CATCH IT.
JEDI THAT SHIT AND HIT YOUR VICTIM WITH HIS OWN WEAPON.
OR JUST TAKE IT AND BE ALL "OH, WAS THAT IT?"
AND THEN PRY IT OUT OF YOUR FLESH WITH YOUR BARE HANDS AND THROW IT BACK AT THEM.
DO EVERYTHING THE AWESOME WAY.
GET DRESSED.
COOK FOOD.
TAKE A WALK IN THE PARK.
BUT DO IT AWESOMELY.
MARTIAL ARTS CAN BE USED FOR EVERYTHING.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS EXCESSIVE FORCE IF IT WORKS.
IF EXCESSIVE FORCE BREAKS IT THAN IT WAS TOO WEAK.
NEVER MERELY SHEATHE A WEAPON IF YOU CAN SPIN IT, THROW IT IN THE AIR, CATCH IT, AND THAN SHEATHE IT.
EXPLOSIONS, THINGS BURSTING INTO FLAMES, DEATH BY AWESOME.
TAUNT YOUR OPPONENTS, YOU'RE GOING TO WIN, IT MIGHT AS WELL BE INTERESTING.
SHOW OFF, ESPECIALLY WHILE DEFEATING YOUR VICTIM.
NO ENEMY IS SO HEAVY HE CAN'T BE THROWN, SO FAST HE CAN'T BE HIT, SO INVINCIBLE HE CAN'T BE DESTROYED.
ANY STATEMENT IS A CHALLENGE IF YOU FEEL LIKE DISINTEGRATING SOME FACE.
IF YOU DON'T RADIATE AN AURA OF AWESOME, THEN YOU'RE NOT AWESOME ENOUGH.
History:
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
And God said, Let there be light and there was light.
And God saw the light, that it was good and God divided the light from the darkness.
And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.
And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament and it was so.
And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear and it was so.
And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas and God saw that it was good.
And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth and it was so.
And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind and God saw that it was good.
And the evening and the morning were the third day.
And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth and it was so.
And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night he made the stars also.
And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness and God saw that it was good.
And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind and God saw that it was good.
And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind and it was so.
And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind and God saw that it was good.
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
And so God created Vance Skye.
